Oct 6, 2008

Crime and Punishment

Thanks for all the opinions on the spanking poll. It's nice to know that I'm not an over-reacting obsessive parent. Or, if I am, at least I am in good company.

For the past few months Robbie's been going to a day care / preschool. It's really an in-home daycare with a preschool schedule where they learn shapes, colors, numbers, etc.

One day recently I picked Robbie up and he said the caregiver, who I'll call Miss X, hit him. When I asked him to elaborate it came out that he and the other kids were drawing with sidewalk chalk and he started breaking the chalks (for what reason only a boy could tell you) and when Miss X saw it, she slapped his hands and sent him to time out.

We've been telling him that no one is allowed to hit him and that he should come to us if anyone hurts him - so I was glad at least that he told me quickly and clearly what had happened.

The next day when we went back I took Miss X aside and asked her about the incident. She told me the same thing Robbie had told me without embarrassment and without apology. She obviously found it perfectly acceptable so I told her that I did not. I said that if she couldn't correct him without hitting him I would definitely find another arrangement.

Fast-forward to last week. Robbie suddenly started putting up a huge fight about going to daycare. I kept asking him what he was afraid of and he couldn't name anything that was wrong, he just didn't want to go. We would show up to day care and, after half an hour of trying to get him to stay, we'd go home.

On the third day, Miss X said "You know I've just never had a kid not like me. I guess what's probably bothering him is that the other day "child X" was acting up so I was spanking her and dragging her to time out and she was screaming the whole time. It was a really ugly scene and maybe that's what scared him."

You could have picked my jaw up off the floor I was so shocked. Shocked that she's apparently beating on the other kids, shocked that she's freely admitting it, shocked that she couldn't imagine this would be a deal breaker.

We left and he's not going back. But part of me was unsure if I was over-reacting so I didn't give her the blasting she deserved.


Amber Ro said...

She REALLY told you that whole story about beating the girl and dragging her to time out? And she didn't think you'd have a problem with that? Wow...I don't blame you for pulling Robbie out on the spot.
Any luck in finding new sitter arrangements?

Holly | Reed Photographic said...

Yes she really did...unbelievable. We're still looking for someone. I'm obviously adding a few things to my screening questions.

Kevin's Mommy said...

Wow...that would so never be allowed here. Who would even think you'd have to ask a caregiver how they come down on physical punishment??? I hope the search for someone else turns out ok.