Mar 12, 2009

The Defiant Child

I don't remember ever talking back to my parents as a child. Perhaps my parents do, but I just remember being too afraid to be so impertinent. That is, until I was about 14 and started pushing the limits of their patience.

I had a friend when I was about 10 that had no problem telling her mother to "shut up" or "get out" that she was stupid, fat, ugly, etc. I recall being shocked and embarrassed the one time I stayed over at her house and saw this happen. At one point her mother just turned to me and said "I bet you never talk to your mother like this do you?" I didn't know what to say. The truth was that of course I didn't talk to my mother like that but I didn't want to side against my friend either. I just shrugged and blushed...and never stayed over again.

As the mother of a three year old, it has come as a bit of a surprise to me that preschoolers back-talk. In fact, until recently I was starting to think maybe I just had a really smart-mouthed kid. We just squelched "shut up" and now we're dealing with "I don't love you" when he doesn't get his way.

We tried time-outs and all the usual forms of discipline with no obvious results. To say the least, its been very frustrating. Yesterday when I desperately needed to be catching up on work I decided instead to turn to my friend the internet for some advice. I read several articles on preschoolers and back-talk and I learned some things to try and that its a lot more common than I thought.

So, has your preschooler done this? What have you done to teach them not to do this, or even to explain what constitutes "back-talk" or "sassing"?

At times we consider the benefits of a shock-collar, so hopefully you have a better idea.

The above image is a worldle of this blog. Go have fun and make one for yourself.


Anonymous said...

My vote is still for military school!

Empowering Parents said...

There are many other parents just like you empowering themselves with knowledge at our website with many articles such as Eliminate “Shut up!” from Your Family’s Vocabulary and Does Your Child Say This?
"You don't love me."

Amber Ro said...

If you figure out a solution, pass it along to the rest us in need. It's nice to know that you have some hard mommy moments, too :)

Kim said...

LOVE your wordle. OH MY we have the same situation in our family. Memms is horrid at times, and the whining...OH THE WHINING. I hate it the most.

I have just resorted to time out...a million time outs a day if needed. She hates it. It is the only thing she hates.